The Joy of Solitude

“Forget it Jake, it’s Chinatown.”

This is a quote from one of my favorite movies, Chinatown. So naturally when a fellow intern told me about summer nights in Chinatown, with dancing, food trucks and live bands, I had to go! Unfortunately, no one wanted to go with me. It was very last minute and I understand Chinatown is not on everyone’s list of places to go. So, I thought about it and pouted for a while then I decided to go for it. I went by myself, and it was an amazing decision.

It’s an entirely different experience going somewhere alone as opposed to with friends. Both have their benefits. Going alone gave me the freedom to answer only to myself. I went to whatever area interested me and I never felt rushed. There was an immense independence in that feeling. I got food at a really good food truck, I shopped around and bought a shirt with an elephant on it that I really liked, and I stood at the front of the last band performance of the night. I listened to their whole set and enjoyed every second of it. Who would have known that I could be happy at an event like that for 3.5 hours by myself? I really felt accomplished. Of course there was something I battled the whole time that made if difficult. My whole life I have always been told to, “Be Safe and Be Careful!” What does that really even mean? What family and friends really mean by that is, “Be Smart.” I feel I have this intense anxiety going somewhere alone because my whole life I grew up with those words being said to me before I went anywhere. I feel that is also why it has been hard going places on my own. I always assume it’s not safe. Now, I do understand a family’s concern; however, I also don’t want to be scared my whole life. I need to be smart and understand the situation I am going into but I cannot let that stop me from going places alone. So now I will not “forget it Jake, because it’s Chinatown,” but I will go to Chinatown and I will go the places I want to go during my life and not live in fear. I want to experience life and not be sacred all the time. This is a first step in doing that. I also want to learn how to fight, maybe that will make me feel better.

 

 

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